In the photograph below the Third President for Life, Gödel C. Escherbach,
meets with Soviet President Josef Stalin and Foreign Minister Molotov
in Moscow in 1939. It was actually Escherbach, not Molotov, who secretly
negotiated the non-aggression pact between the Soviet Union and Germany.
This allowed the Soviets the time they needed to build up their defenses
against the inevitable German attack.
Third President for Life, Gödel C. Escherbach, (standing, fourth from
the left) was present at the "Big Three" meeting in Yalta in 1945. It
was here that the President for Life tricked American President Franklin
D. Roosevelt into believing that the Banana Republic had actually beat
the U.S. in the development of atomic weapons. This allowed the BR to
take part in the "Big Three" negotiations and escape being carved up and
placed into either the U.S. or Soviet post-war spheres of influence. Our
Late Fearless Leader noted in his memoirs that Churchill always had good
cigars to share and was quick with the lighter and that Roosevelt was
generous with his bourbon. Unfortunately, Stalin was a bore, smoked crappy
Georgian cigarettes and was a sore looser when playing cards. It is reported
that Stalin still owes our Fearless Leader about fifteen bucks US.
Third Fearless Leader, Gödel C. Escherbach, reviews troops of the People's
Liberation Army along with Party Chairman Mao Tse-tung and Liu Shao-chi
during a 1959 good will visit to the People's Republic of China. The Fearless
Leader claimed that Mao was no Party Chairman in the true sense of the
word; he couldn't mix drinks worth a damn, had horrible taste in music
and always dressed like a waiter in a bad Chinese restaurant. Our Late
Fearless leader reported in his diary that the only think that kept him
from going insane during the long and boring trip was Liu Shao-chi's black
market Johnny Walker Red Label and the show girls he had in his entourage.
Unlike Mao, Liu Shao-chi knew how to party. This saved Sino-BR relations
from devolving into war.
After perpetuating the myth of an atomic arsenal on the Soviets and the
Chinese as well as the Americans the President for Life was envited to
the Soviet Union as an equal in 1966. Here our Fearless Leader is shown
(fourth from the left) reviewing Soviet troops from atop Lenin's tomb
in Red Square. To the Fearless Leader's left are Soviet Marshal Yuri Glupimalchikov
and Premier and Party Secretary Leonid I. Brezhnev, both of whom are lousy
at cards, according to our Fearless Leader, although future leader Konstantine
Chernyenko (second from the left) was a great bluffer even if he often
fell asleep in the middle of a hand.
Third President for Life, Gödel C. Escherbach
A Short Chronology of his Early Years: 1917-1942
Third President for Life, Gödel C. Escherbach, helps Vladimir
I. Lenin give a speech in Moscow, circa 1917. The President for Life recorded
in his journal that Lenin wasn't much of a speaker. He often stuttered
and lost his train of thought. It was Escherbach who often coached Lenin
during the campaign to overthrow the Mensheviks and give birth to the
Soviet Union. While fond of V.I. and Mrs. Lenin, the President for Life
was not a big fan of Leon Trotsky (standing below the President for Life
and facing the camera). Trotsky often cheated at cards and was later found
in Mexico City with an axe in his head due to a bad debt owed to Joe Stalin.
The Third President for Life, Gödel C. Escherbach, was an avid supporter
of aviation from the time he assumed power. When close friend General
William "Billy" Mitchell was court-martialed in 1925 the President for
Life immediately flew to Washington, DC to lend his support. Mitchell
is standing and The President for Life is shown sitting to his right.
Mrs. Mitchell is on his left. Mitchell was thought to have died in 1936
but his "death" was arranged. He actually moved to the BR and supervised
the growth of the B.R. Air Force.
In 1929 the Third President for Life, Gödel C. Escherbach,
disappeared from the Presidential Compound and was not seen for several
months. Later, after his return, it was learned that the President for
Life has disguised himself and obtained employment as a pilot for Maddux
Airlines flying the route between Los Angeles and San Diego. The President
for Life later explained that he wanted to experience life as an ordinary
citizen. Since his face was too well known in the Banana Republic he elected
to travel to the United States and move among the masses. After about
five months he grew tired of the proletarian rat-race and returned to
In January of 1935 the president for Life made a state visit
to Australia. Here he is shown debarking from a de Havilland DH-86 at
Archer Aerodrome along with two of his harem nannies. Chief Pilot L.J.
Brian is shown to the left assisting the President for Life.
In June of 1937 the President For Life was visiting Karachi
(then part of British controlled India) on vacation when he learned that
Amelia Earhart would be stopping there on her second around the world
flight. On 15 June the President for Life met with Earhart (center) and
her navigator Fred Noonan. The President for Life was very impressed with
Earhart's Lockheed model 10E Electra with its advanced Bendix instruments
and new Sperry autopilot equipment on board. As a matter of fact, he cabled
Lockheed later that day to order a fleet of model 10's for the BRAF.
Throughout World War II the President for Life was always
available to support the lowly grunts who were slugging it out for truth,
justice and the Banana Republic way. Here he is shown posing with the
mechanics of Headquarters Squadron, 24th Pursuit group at Bataan Field
in January of 1942 in front of one of their precious few Curtiss P-40E's.
This was soon after the Americans entered the war and they were not well
prepared. While the BR could not lend much economic assistance due to
its small size, it could lend expertise. It was this military and intelligence
expertise which allowed the allies to turn the tide of the war and eventually
destroy the forces of darkness.
Fifth President for Life, Gödel E. Escherbach
A Short Chronology: 1955-1972
This photograph of the President for Life (middle)
was taken in 1955 during a state visit to the BR made by Soviet President
Nikita Krushchev (right) and Nikolai Bulganin (left). This
photograph was taken soon after Bulganin ripped a huge fart. While always
fond of passing gas, the President for Life does require that everyone
call their own shots and claim responsibility. SBD's are most certainly
not appreciated in the Presidential Palace. (This was only
one of the many reasons why Joe Stalin was never allowed to return after
his disastrous 1938 visit.)
In 1972 the President For Life finally met U.S. President
Richard M. Nixon. The President for Life found President Nixon to be very
personable with a wicked sense of humor and a foul mouth. The President
for Life respects this in a world leader. When Nixon sought advice about
the brewing Watergate scandal from the President for Life our Fearless
Leader recommended that Nixon burn the tapes, stonewall the press and,
by all means, lie! He even suggested that H.R. Halderman, John Erlichman,
John Dean, Mitchell, and several others, should "vacation" in the Banana
Republic for an extended period. Perhaps a very extended period of time.
Nixon ultimately rejected all of these ideas and paid the price. Before
leaving, President Nixon did leave the President for Life an autographed
copy of the famous Nixon and Elvis photograph. It now hangs next to the
Elvis on velvet painting given to the people of the BR by Big Daddy, Doctor,
President for Life, Idi Amin Dada, the former President of Uganda
Here the President for Life is shown shortly after a flight
in the Banana Republic Air Force's experimental X-24B lifting body aircraft.
This vehicle paved the way for the BRAF's Trans-Atmospheric Forces. As
this photo was shot the President for Life was expressing his displeasure
with the local bus service. After landing on the Rogers dry lake bed at
Edwards Air Force Base in the United States he was supposed to be met
by a Air Force bus. The crew bus was over an hour late and by that time
the President for Life had already called a cab.